The powerful U.S. Spanish-language television network ¨TELEMUNDO¨ took a bold step today by signing a lucrative sponorship deal with 12-year old, latino chess wonder, WCM Claudia Muñoz.
Hispanic advertising guru Manuel Sanchez based in Las Vegas stated, ¨This $5 million dollar, 6-year contract will have Claudia riding into the sunset.¨
The deal is reported to have two main clauses:
1. Former World Chess Championship Garry Kasparov will be Claudia´s exclusive coach now that GM Magnus Carlsen fired the former chess icon over ¨undisclosed issues¨. When Kasparov was reached for comment, he stated, ¨I´m going to show Magnus what he missed by firing me!¨
2. Claudia´s life will be a part of a 6-year reality television show in both English and Spanish called, ¨YO QUIERO TELEMUNDO¨
GM Susan Polgar issued a statement concerning the deal, ¨WHAT ABOUT ME?¨
However the money does not just stop there!
Telemundo also signed several Muñoz family members to a variety of shows.
First on the list was Claudia´s mother, a former VICTORIA´S SECRET supermodel in the 90´s, to her own show called ¨MAMACITA¨. This new TELEMUNDO programming is targeting ¨SOCCER MOMS¨. She will be raising the bar on topics of interest relating the new Latino woman.
When reporters mobbed her, as she was getting out of her truck, to ask her about her new television show ¨MAMACITA¨, she simply stated, ¨I´M GOING TO HURT YOU IF YOU SCRATCH MY TRUCK!¨
TELEMUNDO RECORDS also signed Faith Abigail Muñoz to write, produce and sing the theme songs for both her sister and mother´s television shows. When she was informed of her financial deal, during recess at school, she almost fainted and had to grab on to a tree to avoid hitting the ground. She was heard saying, ¨Now, I don´t have to wash dishes for my dad on Wednesday for five dollars!¨.
YO Y LA RANA
There are always winners and losers in every television deal and in this case the loser was Claudia´s father, Abed. TELEMUNDO executives not finding a place within their lineup, decided to hire him for their 2:00 a.m. - 3:00 a.m., weekend slot. The show will be called ¨YO Y LA RANA¨, which means ¨ME AND THE FROG¨. No one in the network could comment on what the show was about, however, an unnamed source stated that it was a wrestling show where the FROG uses Mr. Abed as a punching bag.
Mr. Manuel Sanchez, Latino advertising guru, simply stated that no one watches TELEMUNDO at that horrendous hour.
Does this sound real to you?
Well it isn´t because it´s APRIL FOOLS!
A DISCLAIMER FOR OUR LATIN AMERICAN READERS
Para nuestros lectores en Latino America, nada de lo que ha leido es cierto sino que en los Estados Unidos hoy 1 de abril es EL DIA DE LOS INOCENTES.